Wondering about the future

i yearn for a place of my own but i fear of facing the 4 cold walls.

i need a world of my own but i fear of the loliness and quietness.

i hate myself for needing companion all the time but yet i couldnt overcome that grief when i dun have one. And my worst is i dun have many good companionS around.

When am i going to grow up? or pass this stage when you'll always have a funny/immature state of mind....

Hmm am i being too sentimental here?.....this is supposed to be a sex forum.....fuck it. a blog is for me to write my heart out.