I am reviving this blog for myself

Well, its been a couple of year, i have slutted around to other well known site likes multiply and FB, now am finally decided to root back here to write my heart out because i felt this blog is still very much discreet for myself and not too poser like, like the fb user who would share every single lil shit about their life on FB, too attention seeking i felt.

Along the years after i stop writing on this blog, on and off i still have the urge to write on this blog but i never did and finally am doing it today. Why is it this particular day? No special reason really, today is just another day. But i guess because i finally have really lost the person that i can really speak too. Am back to being someone with an unoccupied heart (the friendship corner, of course, love corner is still very much occupied). I really wonder when will i be able to meet back someone like her. It is not extremely painful for losing her,it was at the beginning. I cried my heart out when it just happened. I clinged on the little strand of hope i have, hoping to fix it. hoping that both of us can forget about the awful part and things will be back to just exactly how it used to be. We still share, laugh, depend and love each other. But the moment i confirmed that it's not working, not working for myself, i decided to move on. Once the decision is made, there's no more pain, just emptiness. even she said no problem, things will be the same, though i am not convinced, i felt that there's a huge gap between us. Admittedly, things are not the same anymore and the gap could not be mend anymore. This has further confirmed my decision to move on is on the right path.

i always wonder how is she doing, i always wonder how is her life without me, i always wonder if she miss me like i do, i always wonder if she think of me when needed someone to talk to or just to chill or just to share the frustration with or just to share a great song with. At least, that's how i feel when i was having those moments. recently, i heard a great song, as usual, first thing came into my mind is i must email her this song, i can imagine her singing along, playing the song with her laptop in her lil room in the white flourescent light and her gecko or some weird native curtain in front of her. The sound and air of singapore surrounding her together with the song i sent her. i wanted to send her the song like i used to be, but i hesitated and i kept the song sending on hold till finally this moment, loliness striked and emptiness crawled in again. I finally had sent her the song. i hope she would enjoy the song like i do. just feel the rhythm like i do. i hope this would cleanse the unhappiness between me n her. Dare not ask for more, but at least just cleanse it. Maybe allowing the space for reconnection in future?

Hope you enjoy the song like i do my friend.

Seanty Ponty is moving!

My fellow bloggers!

Please visit http://seantyponty.multiply.com/ for latest update of my life.

I decided to move my blog to multiply because it's more user friendly to upload pix, vid and music.

See ya there!

What is a wrist band for

Ok, i always thought a wrist band is to protect your wrist during sport activities right?

But recently, i just found out shockingly that wrist band is actually - "for you to wear it on your hand to enable you to wipe your sweat away conveniently at anytime during sport."

So you don't have to bother about bringing a towel.

When i heard this, i got a shock in my life, really meh? Isn't the only purpose of a wrist band is to protect your wrist?!

Ppl, please shine my light on this because i don't want to look like an idiot when using a wrist band to wipe my sweat during hiking. Very xia sui if the theory is wrong leh.

Anti-depression

People out there, i have read your blog and i feel the same for you - depress, lonely,depress, sad, depress, lost, depress depress depress!!!

At one point of time, i was like you too, in fact, i was super depressed, so lost, not sure who i am, what i want to do, no frend, bla bla bla.

Here's some 2 cents worth of my experience talk for anti-depression:-
1. Exercise - charge up the endorphin to immune the depression, it works on me, really.
2. your fav - coffee, latte, ice cream...whatever your indulgence is, use it to make yourself happy.
3. Boyfriend - that's just for a pair of ear, punch bag, credit card so you can swipe away your blue, the dick so you can shag away your worries.
4. Frends - this one very precious ohh, but that was i am short of and is my root of depression, hahaha.....but i jump up to ceiling when my frends asked me out for yum cha.
5. Make the change - whatever the cause of depression is, your life is in your hand, you don't deserve any shits in life, fuck it and move on with your intuition, what you think is right. It's proven for me. dont be afraid to make the change cause if you don't make the first step, you'll never know. really.
6. Come make frend with me loh - according to my frends, my jokes are really da funny wor...like muah-chi story, and 'blue in a lift'.... but you must have high IQ to understand my joke leh.
7. Hypnotization - don't drown yourself in the blue, just dont think bout it at all, like my cause of depress is loneliness - so i play games loh, work loh, watch porn, read porn, think porn, talk to alex (my imaginary frend), force frends to lepak with me loh, worst case - invite your mom to lepak with you lar. basically i hypnotize myself by saying this problem does not exist, it does not exist, it does not exist....
8. Go swim in Bangsar public pool - throw yourself into the deepest end of the pool bottom, imagine that you are a fish with no worries, just swimming over and over again in that cooling water until you had enough, sometimes, if u r lucky, you may find some handsome male fishes leh, ;P.

tats all i can think of at the moment lah, in short, watever blue you r having now, it will be over soon. just stay strong and believe in yourself. not sure how to do? talk to me.

The EXPERIENCE

For those whom i have promised that i'll share the experience on my blog. Here's my remark for the experience.

It is damn good. For your assured happiness in future, i strongly recommend you to own one too. trust me, seanty 100% guarantee, no regret!

thanks shuk and mel! u save my life! i am complete now.

Thank you hor~~~~

For those who read my blogs, ohh, especially the suicider note.... thanks for expressing ur care and concern, i just realised i have a small small reader base ler....wat an honour!!

dun worry, most of the time, wat i write in here is just fictional (ohh, the suicider thingy lah), all my ima-gee-nei-siong only.... but the nasi lemak is real though. if i really die, hereby, i would like to stress again, bring me nasi lemak if you ever want to visit my grave....i will come say thank you at night~~~

dun worry about me lah, although i still think i am living a miserable life and true enough, i dun have many frends and also a bit lost with wat i want to do with my life, but a large San Fran Latte will always make the day for me. Just tat i dun have so much money to spend for 10 dollars per 1 cup of coffee...

Well, in the same time, would like to take this opportunity to beg for your merciness, please refer to the poor little ponty picture below, hope it will melt ur heart and come forward to me to offer a LARGE cup of san fran latte....eeerr...if you really are buying me one...make sure it's low fat milk ohh....cause i am on diet ler....











THANK YOU VERY MUCH FOR THE COFFEE HOR!

Frienster

Late night in the office again.

Was surfing the Friendster because one of the long lost frend found me via mutual frend in Friendster. This triggered me to surf the site to get update of many many long lost frends too....which leads to a walk down the memory lane again. That time all of us were still the innocent teens in our 16. Seeing my primary school frends have all grown up, featuring their beautiful and heppening shots in bikini or party skimpy clothes, i had a culture shock. OH MY GOD! MY frends are now officially the CITY PPL. They are just like any other yuppies in KL who like to hang out in discos, travels alot, and some are even studying in UK/US/AUST. Walau!!! my primary school's frend all very happening leh..... =O.

In a way, it makes me feel ashame of myself because i always tot i am the city girl who lives a 'city life' and have much more exposure compared to them. So wrong....

For my dearest primary school frends who's reading this - soli lah, dun mean to perceive you like tat one....u know me lah, the forever skeptical celaka mar....

Some of them are even married! Walau ehh! This pronounced that we are in mid 20 dee, when i still feel tat i am only 18 with no worries in life.

Sigh...sometimes really wish to be always 18.

Then i found my secondary school frends on the site too....WALAU!!!they are even more happening!!!! parties, tatoo, make up and advertising.... a bit like my lifestyle besides the party, the tatoo, and the make up. Ok ok, which means only advertising lah..... =S.

Besides all these long lost frends....i also get to spy some ppl's life that i shouldn't let them know that i am spying them..... But sometimes the more u know, the less good it does for you.

So, conclusion? I have a love hate relatioship with FRIENDSTER.

A roller coaster 24

This year, is defintely one of the roller coaster ride year for me. Why? Lets see...

LOVE
The previous one - here it goes, i've been going out with the bugger for a bloody long 6 years, and i finally was kicked out of the relationship. Reason being, I am not the one that he's willing to settle/commit for at this point of time. Fine, god bless that, now, i find that i can live without him in my life and there's so much better to look for ahead. But the fuck up part is - for 6 ýears, there's memory, because of these memories, it sometimes trigger my brain to think of him which i totally didnt not want and cant wait to get rid of. No Memories, no him in my life. Just let me go. As i am not a nice person at all, i thank him for leaving me, really, and i definitely won't wish 'áll the best' for him because i think my life should always be better than his.
My current, ;D, yah, the prey - Never see a man who can love me that much cause i don't know what in me worth so much of love. Frends said based on how he treated me, he is head over heel for me. Weird, who would love a nasty fatty like me so much leh. Anyway, i thank him for loving me, for being there for me when i am not treating him fairly, for his tolerance with me while i am so hooked up with all those fuck up memories. For the guidance he provided for how i should walk, see and feel my path of life. Sometimes, i think he's a bit dumb dumb and low IQ and i got upset with it as he's being too dumb. But come to think about it, Hey, nvm, at least a dumb one would not be smart enough to cheat u to go out with another woman. ;P I love u babeh!

FRENDS
This chapter gonna be a miserably short one. Y? Because i only have 2 real close frends mah. One is now in Spore, ok, there goes my weekly yum cha. No more yum cha buddy. Another one, just announced to me that he's probably goin to Vietnam. Mine Mine. No more frend frend. Really, what am i supposed to do when i need someone around to talk to or just to share/laugh about life? God, please grant me a frend.....

CAREER
This one ahh, this is the most fuck up one lah. For the 3 years invested for the same field, i finally have to admit that i cant and will not do well in this. So, what am i supposed to do next? I am really clueless, worst case, be a cafe barista loh. It is a turning point in my career now and i am afraid to make the move. Dare not resign as i need an income but am going thru hell with this job. Real hell! the only good thing is i learn to be independent. hmm...maybe independant.

Well, in summary, i have a really fuck up year for this year. Am i depress, i think i am, but then again, how could someone in depression have such good apetite, can eat and grow fat steadily. Would i suicide as i am really really a lost soul now? frend, watch out for that. I may.

Ohh by the way, should i really die dee, please bring nasi lemak to serve when u visit my grave, and i like kerang for the side dish and fried mata kerbau egg, telur kukus is not good enough for me yah.